


Scattered by sorrow, growing wetter with tears

by aleela



Series: The Lost Myth of True Love [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, M/M, and ....other stuff, junmyeon centric, there is some kissing, vaguely sexy ig
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 14:46:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17789363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aleela/pseuds/aleela
Summary: Junmyeon wishes for just one more night of abhorrent sinning and wistful hugs and yearning kisses.





	Scattered by sorrow, growing wetter with tears

**Author's Note:**

> hello,
> 
> the title is from jonghyun's skeleton flower, and i recommend listening to it while reading, if u r such a person who listens to music while reading
> 
> pls leave kudos and comments if u feel like this little peace of my mind deserves to be loved <3 and, of course, thank u for giving this fic a chance
> 
> seho deserves all the love!!!! their dynamic stays unparalleled 
> 
> -ela

His eyes shine like the brightest stars when he laughs, and the cheesiness of the thought his mind conjured doesn’t escape Junmyeon. He could listen to him laugh for the rest of his life, but all is not as it seems, and their lives are already complicated enough. This will have to be enough, they will make it be so.

Sehun stretches out his long sleep weighted limbs next to him on the bed, the sheet falls off his body to pool at his abdomen, and Junmyeon feasts his eyes unashamed, for they have only few hours left, he will not feel embarrassed.

“Hyung, what are you thinking about?” He asks him in a croaky, husky voice, and he can’t make himself stop staring. He’s lying next to the prettiest creature that he’d ever laid his eyes on, and it’s still not enough. _What do you want more, Junmyeon? What do you need to make this enough?_ The cards have been in their favour so far, but everything is bound to fall apart because that’s just how life has treated him so far, and he expects nothing less, even now, when he has found himself a home in between Sehun’s thighs.

“It’s nothing,” he says softly, as if talking any louder than in a whisper will disturb the sanctity of their being together in this lavish hotel room, their final try at an escape. The white walls and white rugs remind him of a hospital, but even that is hidden at the back of his mind in the presence of their love and devotion.

Sehun lays himself across his part of the king sized bed, as if preparing his body for a sacrifice to the greatest deity, his head thrown back (long neck on display) and his hands crossed over each other, and Junmyeon wants to take him like communion. Wants to wash himself in him and come out holy and full of faith. He feels like crying.

“Kiss me,” he rasps out, and Sehun laughs. A deep, long sound, like the bells tolling and, god! He wants to have him for the rest of his life; to spend their days together in a small room would be enough, but the reality in not kind to them.

His mind shuts off in the throes of their kisses. Sehun kisses like an already dying man going to war – painful and sad, and so, so full of hope.

He can feel the tears dripping down his cheeks, but he can’t stop them. And Sehun knows. He’s known him for years already, and he knows that Junmyeon sometimes gets inside his head, and imagines the worst case scenarios as if the pain will bring him joy or salvation. But the truest of all, he knows that Junmyeon is right, that they can’t keep doing this any longer. That this is the moment they part on their respective ways, or they crash together and watch the world burn. But they’re both too young still, not ready. They have their whole lives ahead of them, and what if _this_ is not _it_? What happens when their lives fall apart underneath their feet, do they lose their footing and fall into the proverbial hole, too?

Junmyeon thinks it’s too much to ask of Sehun to keep kissing him for the rest of his life, even though he knows that the god they pray to is one and the same, and he will offer no absolution of sins for chances not taken. But still, he wishes with all his might that the god will turn the world around at least one time, to give them one more night of abhorrent sinning and wistful hugs and yearning kisses.

He thinks he’s mapped his body over all this time so well, but with every kiss comes a new uncharted place that produces the most melodious of moans as he wrecks him all over again and again. The plaintive cries that come only spur him on harder, and he wishes for the last time to receive forgiveness.

The hands clutching his neck leave tiny pinpricks of pain in their wake, as they slowly make their way down his body. He can’t help but feel that, this right here, is absolute perfection. This is the closest to god he will ever be, and his own tears that he sees rolling down Sehun’s throat make him shut his eyes and kiss him again to keep those mournful sounds at bay.

Sehun has never been a loud lover, but only his cries are heard throughout the room, and maybe he feels it too, thinks Junmyeon, how everything is at a standstill for them, how the world is giving them the last chance to do something right, to pick the right path. Even though they both know that the right choice does not exist.

“Junmyeon,” Sehun whispers as they look at each other. This is the picture of serenity that comes to his mind when he thinks of salvation. “I would do anything for you,” he gasps as he shudders one last time, and Junmyeon feels like he’s holding ash in his hands, like Sehun’s skin is shining liquid gold, pouring over his hands, and he feels a little bit in love.

His skin irrevocably defiled and tainted by Sehun. He will never feel the touch of other people as he feels when Sehun touches him, he ruined him for others, and he thinks he knows it, too.

He thinks he whispers his words of devotion as well, pushes them deep into Sehun’s bones, mars the blood and the flesh with his sickness, but he can’t stop. Until he does, and the world comes back, and no, they do not get that one more night he so begged the deities for, and all that is left is to set fire to their bodies and to crawl inside each other and live there forever, because it is the only way they stay alive and together. With each other, or not at all.


End file.
